Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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