JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I believe in your delicious
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
