just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
