so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize