I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize