I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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