She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
