Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
