I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize