Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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