Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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