I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Randomize
