Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
