this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize