I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
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