Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
