the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
