It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
