So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
