There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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