I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
