i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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