I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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