come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
