I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
