you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
