I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize