You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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