if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My brain says no but my pants say off.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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