he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
