You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
