from now on my penis is your penis
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
