Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
