My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
