Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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