She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
