belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
