so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
