what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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