I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Who died my cat blue again?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
