then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
