I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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