Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
