What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
