Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
