Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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