I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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