yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize