was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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