Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
this is an emotional support booty call
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
