My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
How's work?
Spinning.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
