you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
