my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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