he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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