i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
