PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
