i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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