dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
