you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
