Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i think i have two assholes
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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