No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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