pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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