Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
