too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
