just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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