I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
