Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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