k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
