Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
God I need to hump something, right now.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
