I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
