when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize