Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
