Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
