just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
