it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
