How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
