apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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