I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
