So gin and wine won't be happening again
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
